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Last Long Enough?
by: Oneil Wilson
A very common sexual concern among men is whether they orgasm to quickly. Of course, part of the answer to that question is very personal - many women prefer not to have multiple hour sessions as these leave them sore and swollen. But one man out of three considers that they ejaculate too quickly. A man can suffer a great deal of self-doubt if he feels he suffers from premature ejaculation, and his partner can suffer from frustration as well. The average male between 18 and 20 orgasms within three minutes. As we mature, this slows some what, but experience as much as physical age is responsible for this.
Even if a man doesn't care to go all night, he will probably want to last more than three minutes! There are two questions to ask yourself in order to decide if you last long enough. One is to ask yourself if you are satisfied when you orgasm. Apart from impressing your partner, do you feel that you came when you wanted to, giving yourself the maximum pleasure. The second question is do you usually come before your partner's. Some women have great difficulty in reaching orgasm, especially during intercourse, but if you have multiple partners who seem to expect orgasm yet you finish before they can reach it, then perhaps you suffer from premature ejaculation.
If you feel that you do orgasm too quickly, there are a couple things you can try right off for a quick fix, although both will take away some of your pleasure, as well. One is you can try wearing a condom - or even two - to decrease the sensation. You can also try commercial delaying sprays or creams that work by slightly numbing the penis. Many men also try masturbating before a hot date. They find that having come once in a day, they take longer to come a second time. This can work for many men, but on the other hand, you may enjoy orgasm with a partner more, and you might not always know before hand that you are going to have sex.
In order to learn to control your orgasm, you have to discover at what exact point you cannot turn back. You will need to masturbate very slowly without a partner, and pay attention to what you are feeling. At a certain point, you will find the exact feeling that occurs just before you orgasm. If you learn to recognize that feeling, you will be able to redirect your thoughts or to briefly stop moving just before it occurs. Some men briefly squeeze the base of their penis for a minute till the feeling subsides. At that point, you can continue. Some men think about unpleasant things like income tax or being stuck in a cold rain, but also this often does work, this will also lessen your pleasure.
Strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle can also help delay orgasm. It is the same muscle you use to stop urination in mid stream. Try stopping while you are urinating several times to get a feel for what the muscle feels like in use. It is also the muscle you use when your penis is erect and you make it bob up and down. There are exercises you can do to help strengthen that muscle. The simplest would be to get an erection and make your penis bob up and down till your muscle gets tired, but never continue till it is painful. Do this every other day, just like you would work out any smaller muscle. Then practice using it to sort of hold things back. Remember that sex is all about pleasure, but it is also about genetics. Man was designed to impregnate women, and that meant faster orgasms to allow multiple attempts at fertilization. Coming too rapidly can often be caused by worry and performance anxiety.
The best thing you can do during sex is have fun and enjoy what you're doing!
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